Sunday, April 11, 2010

Supernatural Venting

O+ : halkat!
O-> : aha! you are in the mood

O+ : the puss which oozes out of the fungus on stale bread!!
O-> : right. precisely

O+ : the doggy poo which stinks... the fly with AIDS... the mosquito who is infertile
O-> : okkk. baby... feelin better :)

O+ : a lil
O-> : good... u can say more... like a rotten anal wart from a dead pig's colon!

O+ : yuck!!! bleh! gives me goose bumps
O-> : ok ok. then smthng less disgusting.. like... a fly without wings?

O+ : ok
O-> : ...and a crawling cockroach with no antennae?

O+ : yuck... like a swatted cockroach with broken legs and diahrohhea! ...like the poo of a honey bee when its got dysentry
O-> : lol. that sure was a good one

O+ : he is the rotten stink of a dead rat. puke!
O-> : come on now. u cant puke on this. u said it urself! :)

O+ : so what? the thought makes me puke..
O-> : lol. ok baby. we are tryin to get some peace into ur system here.. so cool

O+ : he is the dehydrated semen of a nymphomaniac
O-> : Awwwsssoommemeeeeee. THAT was the BEST! ...seriously.
he is the sperm flushed away after masturbation in a pakistani refugee camp...

O+ : dont have fun at my expense
O-> : ahem! that WAS a good one

O+ : I dont really hate pakistanis that much
O-> : oh. ok

O+ : not ALL of them are bad you know
O-> : then .. well ... we can make it... a donkey's sperm flushed away after masturbation?

O+ : lol!! yeah... and ...he is the rash inside the butt crack of a farting hedgehog
O-> : HAHAHAHHA... how coool. u are really getting a good hang of this

O+ : ya rrrright!!!!
O-> : :) really baby...u are doing very well. u excel at everything u do

O+ : yuck!... I just got s disgusting thought
O-> : tell me tell me :)

O+ : he is the herpes inside the vagina of a menstruating woman
bleh!!
yuck!!
puke!!
urgh!
O-> : HAWWWWW... yuckkk. really yuckkk. but then, i think this is when u hit the peak. venting out is good

O+ : he is the condom on a dildo without batteries
O-> : he is the lube used when making animal porn

O+ : he is the bacteria in the tooth cavity of a stinking mouth
O-> : ... the bell shape curve requiremnt is being fulfilled... ur behaviour in the last half an hour has been certified as totally natural

O+ : he is horrid and mean and selfish and a virgin and I will hex him so that he remains a virgin for the rest of his life. His heart will want all the action but his body wont RISE to any occasion and he will get the job as a bartender at a strip bar with boobilicious women!
O-> : okkkk then!!... u ARE defying nature

O+ : how come?
O-> : u picked up tempo after going down on the bell curve!!

O+ : huh?
O-> : u ARE, my girl, supernatural

O+ : yeah yeah yeah!

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

After a long time... i say

A man's weakness probably lies in his conscious struggle to evolve, or in his inability to enjoy the rigour of evolution! However, when it comes to happiness, we can comfortably ignore evolution.

i have no clue what happened to Ramprasad Rasiya... and given that I am not Jimmy, possibly i cudn't have had much clue ever. but i sense that he walked away. he had legs u see... and one who has legs is supposed to do things that people with legs do... things like.. walking away. he had legs... he did what he was supposed to do... he walked away. OK! point made. what next?

while ramprasad rasiya did what he was supposed to do... even jimmy did what he thought he was supposed to do... one of them, out of a multitude of things, was to ...well.. ahem...think... yes.. thats what he thought he was supposed to do... so he did that

...in all this "doing what one is supposed to do" it suddenly struck me that there need not be just ONE "supposed to do thing" in a man's life... for eg . apart from having legs, ram prasad rasiya also had a mouth and tongue. so while he was justified in being "supposed to walk" he was also "supposed to talk"... and hence he should have ideally talked away while he walked away.
But Ramprasad Rasiya never did that... he walked away silently.

Jimmy on the other hand, doesn't know, or will never know all and every possible thing that he is supposed to do.
(i for one just don't want to repeat that phrase again)

Amidst all this riff raff, which may not matter to many, what must really matter is this...

...the intensity and passion with which one focuses on a faceless but positive future, while a tangible and rather questionably exciting present stands in their face, is the only thing that decides what exactly it is that one is... supposed to do!

Intellectual Property - Beware